Can't Even Work Out

Not that I'm thrilled to go to the gym anyways, but now I cant even do that. Without feeling tremendous guilt. Not mommy-guilt. Nicotine baby absorption guilt.

I pranced into the gym today with Lachlan in my arms after just dropping his sister off at school. I was in charge of half of my usual amount of rugrats and feeling good. Until I opened the gym daycare door. I thought I just walked into a cheap bar. And the barmaid was sitting in the rocking chair, arms open to accept my child. It smelled like stale ciggie smoke! I thought a toddler was actually lighting one up it was so strong.

I set Lachlan in an Exersaucer as far away from last nights barmaid as possible. And I left, hoping the other girl in charge would take care of him... As I walked on my treadmill I could see in the windows of the daycare so I watched. And I watched Smokey pick him up! And he cried and cried. He snuggled his clean little baby face into her smelly clothes and fussed. I couldnt take it. I hopped right off the 'mill and went in there. Said, "Something came up." Grabbed him and bolted. I hadnt even walked a half mile....

I almost cried. I wanted to talk to the management but she was busy. I stood there awkwardly then left. But I am not through. I know the owner and my kids will never go when that lady is there again. Its called 3rd hand smoke (smoke that lingers on clothes, skin, and hair) and kids who are around it have nicotine in their little tiny developing baby bodies.

This is a daycare at a gym. Who goes to gyms? Health conscious people. Do you think we smoke? No. This to me in unbelievable. It makes me sick. I am doing something about it.

Other than that, I'm cool  :)

An August Update

We had one busy week to start our fall semester, end of summer, beginning of the seasons (yayayayayay!)- whatever you kids are calling it these days. To celebrate Jason and I opened a bottle of wine Friday evening. We hope having two sips then tossing it wasnt a sign of shitty things to come.

If you've tried texting and calling my cell phone lately, please dont think I'm ignoring you again.

Sunny lost my phone. I actually misplaced it, but toddlers are always stealing my things and hiding them in one of their zillion purses, play kitchen ovens, or in a general inaccessible small sticky place. My phone is gone, and I dont really care since it's not an EVO. How really has it enhanced my life? You're right, it hasnt. It only embarrasses me. I have no motivation to excavate my SUV and find it. Call my house.

I am studying to be a lactation consultant which means clinical hours during the days (at odd, unpredictable times), mother to mother support group meetings to attend (for more clinical hours) that are located in various points across Florida, nowhere near Sebastian so the kids and I are now gas guzzling road warriers. Each night of the week I have courses at IRSC. I enjoy the peace and quiet and my own radio stations (without a screamer in the backseat saying "No song! No song!" I think she hates my taste), talking with adults (actually they're all 19 its depressing. I think some of them were born in the 90s. I thought those kids were still in preschool), and having my oatmeal mushy brain stimulated. I dont even need parenthesis to emphasis this one. I sing ABCs all day. Point out colors. And wipe you know whats. Anything is considered stimulating outside this home. I'm reading, highlighting, and memorizing/learning things. I love it.

Jason's on dad-duty, which he's obviously on all the time, but this time it includes exclusive rights to the dishwasher and kitchen, kids meals, baths, and bedtimes. When I get home the house is clean and quiet. Its nice. He's working longer days but usually less days since I'm getting hours for my certification. "Work smarter, not harder" he says. I think thats relevant in this situation. He's training a new guy. He's still tweaking his golf swings ("How many tweaks do you have to go until you've got it?" He said it never ends. Now there's a sport that motivates you...). And he has something very exciting coming up that he's never done before over Labor Day weekend...

Sunny is in school. A 2 year old program with about 5 kids in it. So far the only thing I am sure that they do is serve goldfish for snack, as that is all she'll talk about. I did pick her up last week and she cried when she saw me. Not tears of happiness, they were "No go home!" tears. So she's gonna be a nerd. Sunny's potty training still. Her and Jason went to the store yesterday in panties. Yes, Jason, too. His exact words before leaving the house were "I dont care about a little piss." As if our baby girl does that. I bet you're thinking I have a good pee-in-the-aisle story. I dont. She came home dry.

Lachlan is adorable, of course. He cries when I leave the room. Cries when he's put down. Cries when Sunny looks left at him and def when she comes near him. But other than all that crying he's happy...happy to be in your eyesight and especially in your arms. Or on your boobs. And by "your" I mean "mine". He's had a stuffy nose for 2 weeks now, but he's not sick. He snores, snorts, sniffs, and sneezes (I wasnt going for alliteration but that worked out). I thought teething, then was told maybe allergies? A nurse today told me to stop feeding him any baby food, his body isnt ready. He was getting a half jar a day... That was for fun. But I guess we're done now. He weighs 17.01 pounds; I weighed him today. He was 16.08lbs last Monday, so I know if you can do simple math that it means he almost gained a pound in one week. He's no newborn, so this is quite an accomplishment. I'd like to thank my breastmilk (I dont consider a half jar of babyfood to be substantial enough for that weight gain). Here is a lovely picture I took of him today. I didnt even post it to FB; I kept it just for us on here:

Oh, and he's sitting up now. Until Sunny pushes him over ever so sneakily with her feet.

Tuesday

No longer will I have to make stories out of nothing, fill my blog with the hours of my day that were void of any activity where I'd write about a funny thing Sunnylee did to make it sound like my day was interesting. Now the Gligs are actually doing stuff! Everyone but Lachlan. Lachlan is still just chilling, being carted here and there and everywhere, just happy to be nursed in between it all.

I was that mom today. I dropped off my child, on her first day of preschool, late. And not 5 minutes late. 30 minutes late. As soon as I walked into her room I told her teacher that I wouldnt be late again. Why do we moms say these things? Of course I'll be late again. And why did I admit to her that I lived off the same street as the school, then she'll really think I'm a slacker the multiple times that I'm late? I will try not to be so late. Getting gas, attempting to get coffee, and the health department will no longer be apart of our Tues/Thurs morning routine like it was today.

An afterthought: I made a new years resolution to not procrastinate. And proving how non-procrastinating I can be, I will begin my new years resolution early. Now.

After dropping off Sunny I went straight to McDonalds for a hazelnut latte. I was out of coffee creamer today and remember thinking, "I will just get coffee on my way to do 3,000 errands before Sunny's school starts at 930a...." Dunkin Donuts must have been offering free 'holes; when I pulled into the lot people were punching and fighting at the doors, spilling out onto the sidewalk. I didnt bother, not even when my head said, "You deserve this coffee". Yes, I did deserve it. But that didnt mean this momma was gonna get it.

My McDonalds coffee and I [and Lachlan, damn sometimes its as if he's not even there, but he is, usually staring at you as well trying to get your attention so he can flash his gummy grin at you] went to the river where the old people park to die. I mean, to look at the water together as they hold hands. On all sides of me were Oldsmobiles and Cadillacs, full of the elderly. But I was happy in my serenity. I finally had coffee and peace. Lachlan was sleeping and I finally turned my brain off for an hour. Then we went for a walk in the stroller. Completely relaxed. Not once did I wonder what Sunny was doing [screaming]. Not my problem from 930-noon. On Tues/Thurs. I just thought of being on that water. On a boat. Alone. With Lachlan, obviously.

Later in the day....

I went to school. After coming home from picking up Sunny, having lunch, putting the babies to bed, followed by more peace in quiet, I just couldnt believe my good fortune when 15 minutes after the kids woke up and Jason returned home I was hopping into the car, a car riddled with goldfish and socks and diapers, alone once more. Really alone this time.

I got to talk on the phone without Twinkle Twinkle playing in the background or Sunny asking repeatedly who was on the phone. I drove non-dangerously because I wasnt scared that someone was gonna wake up and melt down that they were in the exact seat they fell sleep in. I went to class and stimulated my brain listening to a lecture on Nutrition. There were big words I didnt know. And I didnt have to sing a song to learn it. It was wonderful.

When I got home Jason and I scarfed down a meal at a decent adult hour, not 2 hours after lunch and snack when the kids get hungry. Jason mowed the lawn, I did baths, and then we were in bed. What seemed like a long day flew by and I am in the BEST mood about Tuesday. I like this being busy thing. For now. Until I dont wanna be busy anymore. Remind me of this most mid-semester. Or next week.

Best Din Din Ever

Maybe, but it was def one of our favorite salads. And I stole it from CPK where Jenalee and I eat the crap out of it. Dont deviate from the ingredients cuz I dont wanna hear how it didt turn out. You have to buy alllll the stuff for sauces... Its worth it every time. Ok- I do deviate. I dont add cilantro. I did brown sugar instead of white. I crisp up my own wontons by throwing the wrappers into a thin layer of hot canola oil. I use leftover chicken from tacos, which were leftover from a roasted chicken! Hmm.... I used cashews instead of peanuts. I use a salad bag of cabbage (usually for coleslaw) which knocks out the 2 cabbages and carrots that it calls for. And I didnt have all the right vinegars. I think I used apple cider and white. Dont let all this blabbing about ingredients deter you, its yummy and easy. Its a salad, a whole meal.

http://blog.al.com/scenesource/2009/02/california_pizza_kitchens_reci.html

UnLazy Sunday

Props to my husby Jason for weedwacking and mowing the lawn in the past without complaining as much as I did today when I weedwacked the yard. I thought I looked cool with our new [borrowed from mom and dad] gas weedwacker, tackling the grass like a man would. 20 minutes later, I set it down and I cant even lift my arms anymore. Much less a baby. Sorry Lachlan. I even gave several of my nice plants a haircut on accident and dammit! now I cant bitch at Jason when he does that, too.
I continued the whining about how sore I was for the remainder of my Sunday afternoon, even making the chore an excuse to kick the Gligs out of the house and snooze in the recliner like a man would as well. With my pants off. Watching golf. Ok, those last things were made up, but inspired by my husband.

Our Toddler

We are in the homestretch, perhaps!, with potty training. Actually there hasnt been much training on our part. Its more like wrestling with diapers and panties for Sunny's amusement. I've got a real baby to tend to who was in diapers, Sunny could pee on the floor. I didnt mind. This lack of discipline could be the reason our daughter decided she needed to take matters into her own hands. 

All week we were too busy for the potty chair. Then Thursday she would stop playing, run over to the potty, and pee all on her own! She didnt pee much until I captured this photo, right before daddy came home from work. We showed it to him. Then showed him Sunnys Potty Chart filled with potty stickers. lol.

All thats nice but check out what she did this morning... She sleeps without jammies, remember? I think this is so she has easier access to her diaper. She actually sleeps naked most nights. This morning she was crying so Jason went in to get her. She'd thrown her diaper and tee shirt on the floor. Her bed was dry (like most mornings- she's been night potty trained for months! It was time for us to move forward...!). And this is what she said between fussing, "Potty". So he sat a whiny little girl on the potty first thing when she woke up. She's sensitive when she wakes up. Princess-like, you know. She never wants to sit on the potty when she wakes up.

But she did. And she peed a whole nights' worth of pee! Its so exciting when your baby who's been in diapers since you met her is now waking up and asking to pee on a potty. Then puts on panties like you. Its a milestone that's hard to handle. Her whole life just flashes before your eyes.... sigh

A Day in our Current [Glig] Life

My day begins with nursing Lachlan and myself back to sleep in my bed whenever he decides he's tired of being a big boy in his own bed (between 3a-6a)
Jason leaves us by 730a to get Sunny out of bed; Lachlan and I get more sleep together.
I make my coffee and watch GMA.
I clean the kitchen and make Jasons lunch.
He leaves.

The kids and I play. Go to my gym. Or their gym. Or the library. Or have a mommy come over or vise versa.
We eat lunch at 1130.
Kids both go to sleep at noon.
I could do the following: clean. learn German. blog.
I do the following: sleep. surf internet. watch TV.

They wake up; we play and watch the clock and call daddy to find out exactly where he is.
He comes home.
We play with daddy while mommy does stuff.
I make dinner and I'm currently trying to push it back later in the day.
We eat dinner.
We now kill time because we ate dinner too early.
We hang out on the deck. Water plants. Talk about the grass.

We do bathtime.
They both bathe together.
We do jammie time.
We cuddle in mommys bed with Sesame Street.
Sunny drinks milk and clutches her 2 Lambies. They were a trio but we've weaned her to 2.
Sunny kisses and hugs everyone then asks to go to her bed by 8p. This is her new later bedtime.

I put her to bed. She doesnt make a peep. We are at least doing one thing right.
I warm up Lachlans bottle. A big one.
He eats it happily and falls asleep by 830.
If he is still awake after finishing the bottle, we nurse.
He goes to his crib in the living room at 9.

I notice Jason. We talk about our steam cleaner, money, weed eaters, and how the rain made us happier we've been in a long time since it will make our yard green and we dont have to manually water. We discuss our health insurance, the kids health insurance, the dogs health insurance, breastfeeding, college, the weekend, TiVo, America's Got Talent, his boss, gas prices, Wallstreet, and Lambie. We are sleeping before 11. And by that I mean at 9.

The Gym's Daycare and Me

I took my kids to the gym today for the first time. The one reason I joined the gym is because it had a free daycare (those 2 words should have immediately turned me off but somehow magically had the opposite effect). Whats cooler than passing one hour of a SAHM's boring day than spending it at the gym? With a babysitter? Who is freeeee!?

note: my kids havent ever been left with anyone other than family. Immediate family. Family they know and love and trust. Never have I disposed them upon a stranger. Until today. Complete abandonment. With me just on the other side of the door.

When it came down to it, I'd wait until Jason got home to go to the gym, wish I hadnt spent the entire day dreading about the gym, think about how I'd have to rush making dinner the entire time I'm at the gym, and of course, miss time with my husband because I'm hanging out at the gym.

I got there around 8 this morning, trying to head off the crowd and let my kids be the only neglected offspring there. By 9 the place was jammed packed. But thats fine, my work was done. I'd ran/walked for 3 miles right next to the childcare door. Not once did anyone come rushing out of it with a bleeding Glig, or one that had instantaneously contracted polio, or a screaming one, or... anything else traumatizing. I was traumatized the entire 3 miles tihnking of these scenerios. I almost cried when I saw [through a large window for parents] the daycare lady holding and bouncing Lachlan, my baby boy, in her arms. Why would I almost cry? I thought she was being motherly and this made me sad. It should've been me.

But then I get all, "I need my own space" since one child or another is usually hanging on me or attached to me, "...my own time" since this is a luxury my husband gets and doesnt know it, "me me me", when its always "them them them" and I'm happy that lady is bouncing Lachlan for FORTY FIVE minutes of my 12 hour childcare day shift.

When I picked up the kids they were happy and socialized. Sunny observed societys' youngest the entire time, pressed a few buttons on a toy, and tried other kids' shoes on. Lachy chilled in the Exersaucer and the lady's arms. I burned a few calories. Everybody wins.

Chardonnay in a Sippy Cup

I've started drinking coffee mid-afternoon.
& duct-taping Sunny's disposable diapers around and around the waistband.

These two events seemingly happened at once...

Coffee's just one step closer to Chardonnay in a Sippy Cup.

Milestones

Sunny was running out into traffic the other day. I grabbed her by her pigtail in a last minute effort to save her life. She didnt appreciate it.

Lachy is eating whole jars of baby food. I dont know what to say about this.

On top of being a garbage disposal, Lachy is also a prodigy. More so than his sister. I wrote in her baby book that she wasnt rolling over both ways until 7mo. Lachy does it now (4 months). Guess she wont be getting into college.

My firstborn doesnt wear pajamas anymore. Before bed last night she wanted me to take them off of her. She slept perfectly in her diaper only. When I tucked her in I said, "Do not take off your diaper" and she didnt. Tonight we just put her in a t-shirt. This milestone makes me almost cry more than walking, talking, and hitting mommy combined. No more feetie jammies....

My Next Phase

Since I've been pregnant and breastfeeding for seemingly the last 3 years, Saturday I opted for some me time. I joined the gym. And I changed my major. Changed my career. Changed.

I am working on becoming a certified lactation consultant. After 6 days of thorough research online, more phone calls than I've ever made to complete strangers, emails that now fill my inbox, and even meetings already, I can say I've networked my a$$ off, and to great personal benefit. There arent many certified consultants in the area. No more than 10 from Melbourne to St Lucie County. Zero in Sebastian. I'm kind of looking forward to being the only one! Monopoly!

This is what I'm up against for requirements:

• 8 college courses (if I'm not an RN already, which I'm not)
• 6 medical courses (like CPR, something I can do on one Saturday, not an entire semester)
• 90 hours of lactation specific education (the one I'm taking is Aussie, online, and 120 hours)
• 500 hours of mentor-supervised clinical hours.

The clinical hours are the challenge. Not only do I have to find my own mentors, they have to be recertified lactation consultants. That means they've been in the profession for at least 5 years and were certified then, and have been certified again. So I'm looking for old-lady LCs in the area, who are willing to do me a favor and help me out. I am at their disposal! Its proving difficult, but manageable.

The more mentors I have the more hours I can potentially get. The mentors also each have their own 'venue' (WIC offices, mother to mother support groups, hospitals, pedi office, etc) so I'd have a diverse knowledge of LC-ing in diff locations.

I have found the LC community to be very friendly, willing to help, and HUGE networkers as well. There isnt any hostile competition, I've been referred to this person and that all over Florida! Each person I contacted over the weekend has called me back or emailed. They've given me all the information they possess that will help me or they've agreed to be my mentor. I have roughly 4 mentors already.

My next step is to meet all the mentors in person (I've met one) and have them sign some things. Then I have to get my plan approved with all my mentors on paper. Once that plan is approved, my hours can start racking up.

Back in my 'college days' I took 4 of the health care pre-req courses I already need. Beginning Aug 23 I start the other 4; four nights a week. Luckily its in Vero, at IRSC. A major reason I went with this program!

When I finish at IRSC in December, I will be studying the home-study lactation specific courses (120 hours), taking the 6 medical courses, while getting clinical hours too. Once all that is complete (my goal is to finish by April 2013), I can apply to take the exam which is only held every July.

Basically... I'm going to be busy now. Monday-Thursday evenings are booked for me. Jason will be home with the kids doing dinner, bath, and bedtime. Weekends will be spent studying. Friday will hopefully be spent collecting clinical hours (Jason will be getting all his work done Mon-Thurs so I can have Friday). I am crossing my fingers that I will not need to look into any type of childcare, especially anything last minute. But whatev. We can deal with it.

Sunny does start preschool the same day I start school. She is going Tues/Thurs mornings to a church school on our street. I know, I know, but church preschools are damn good.... Monday and Wednesday is another moms-morning-out type program that all my friends here are enrolling their kids in to. This program is in the mornings as well and only costs $100 a YEAR. I hope to spend the time kid-less with these other moms walking and playing tennis. At least thats the plan.

I dont handle stress very well, thats why I like to play it safe and stay home a lot (I swear, I do stay home a LOT! My friends here in Sebastian call me "The Girl That Stays Home"... Ok, maybe I dont have a nickname but I was recently informed I am teased behind my back about this). I am unsure how I will handle this many activities and stress with babies. I imagine it will be like our recent Germany trip so I am quite nervous.

But, like I said, I am ready for something. I am going from zero activities to 1000. Wish the Gligs luck. We are all gonna need it.