Sunday, August 5, 2012

Vegas Baby

Excerpts from my journal:
"I dont deserve this bliss that is a/c blasting into my face in my hotel bed. No, wait- I do deserve it. Is it filled with extra oxygen as well- something that surely kept me awake all night [in the casinos]? It is after 1a in Vegas----> 4a Florida time! What am I doing? Well, I should pump. Milk is taking over. But I wanted to write. Blog, really, but I didnt bring a computer. HofbrÀuhaus was awesome! We went there after our $7.77 salad steak shrimp potato dinner and drank massive HB's, just like we did in Munich 1 year ago. Almost exact replica. Kids- I love you and your mom is cool and she can hang. Daddy said, "They're all looking at you!" I said, Who? He said "All the guys at the casino. All night"; everyone is checking me out. I checked baggage today [to save time] for $25 so I'd have all the things that would make me sexy this weekend. I know I look nice, but watching you kids I have no time for sexy. But here I do. I left your daddy and Uncle Steve in the Hard Rock Casino where we're staying. Daddy wanted to play No Limit Hold 'Em poker for $100 buy in. Whatev. I want $120 shoes."

After all was said and done, I took a photo of myself at the end of the night
before I began blogging in the amazing cold hotel room bed.

"We spent $200 yesterday in food, drinks, taxis- and when Jason came waltzing in at 4a we had $200 still! A free night. All good. So- at the HB- Jason and Steve got to reminiscing about snuff- this tobacco.menthol powder you snort at Oktoberfest or beer gardens [in Germany] in general. They used to do it. So.. they asked our drunk fun waitress and she was a little appalled but said they sold it. I had no intentions of snorting anything in my life, but I didnt wanna miss this experience. It was minty, and more importantly, it was fun."

*I dont feel safe here- everyone is off their face still- its 730a*

"I brought my fun slutty dress. Plan to wear it 2-3 nights, lol. Its perfect and fun. Jason needed to zip me in it, though. Right as he began to pull it, I said "Dont rip it," rip! It ripped and he was stunned and waiting for the screaming to begin. But I just wore it with a hole. Classy, huh? You cant see it amidst all the ruffles."
Fun slutty dress with fun slutty husband.

"The coffee's good in Vegas. Pretty much a requirement I'd say. Things could surprise you either way here- a $16 HB beer, $7.77 dinner, awesome coffee, free drinks all night, most cozy comfy room and bed ever, smoking inside, scary looking characters... People watching is easy here."

"I'm traumatized. I pumped a lot of milk this morning and then poured it into the sink. Its a first. I had to take a picture. Lachlan wont drink it if I saved it and I cant donate it to a Vegas baby- its toxic. haha. Only one option then...."

"Coffee. Picture uploading. We hopped into a limo that took us to our helicopter tour. Steve and I rode in the front of the heli- it was amazing! Very smooth, cruising over the strip and into the mountains. Not as bumpy as our Hawaiian flight either (thermals, Jason said, lol). Careening with the Colorado River as we descended into the canyon and landed was the best. I almost puked 5 times as we flew over the Pawn Shop and strip.... Then we went to the pool. Quite unrelaxing unfortunately. But it had sand, which was fun. And I let a 300lb man-boy talk me up for 15 minutes out of boredom until I told him I was married. He floated off."

"Went to dinner on the strip at the mall. Sounds lame, we didnt wanna admit it either, but it was the best Italian food and it was under the clouds- the roof was a brilliant fake sky and we were 'on a cobbled stoned side-street' at night with a water fountain. Then we saw SinCity Brewery, then it rained in the mall. Another 'along the river' outside looking, at night, with a bridge- it thundered and lightening, and rained. We hit the Casinos. Had (needed!) Red Bull/vodkas from a street vendor."

"The casinos were so cool, each so different but continued to blow my mind each time we walked into another. NY NY was sick- dueling pianos=highlight. We went to Dicks Last Resort at another- everyone had tablecloth paper hats their servers would write inappropriate sayings on and I asked ours for one. told him I'd like one. He said "he'd like a lot of things" (ok, he actually said something pretty vulgar, I wont write it on my family blog). So he didnt make me one. Jason asked another server - that server said if we tipped ours he'd do it. So I got a dollar and wrote, "We both like Dicks" on it- gave it to him as I said, "You and I have something in common". It was funny. Tipped the scales back into my favor. But I still didnt get a hat."
He posted my dollar on the wall. No hat.

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