Santa came Christmas Eve to the Gligorov house. It was during dinner that we decided Uncle Steve just could not dress up as Santa because Sunny would recognize him. We had a houseguest and his family over for dinner so naturally we asked him to entertain my children. He is German, lives in Switzerland, and it was perfect. He began ringing this small bell outside the house. Calling out "ho ho ho!" Then rang the doorbell and came inside. My kids arms were wrapped around me tight and their eyes were big. When Santa asked if they'd been good, they each nodded their heads vigorously. When he asked if they've been eating healthy, only Sunny was clever enough to lie and nod her head.
There were presents from his sack, and then he left. Present opening continued into the night.
forward to last night. We're hopping around the yard, Christmas day,
playing with all the toys Australia has ever produced. Lachlan finds....
Santa's bell. Aw shit. Then he proceeds to make every sound he knows,
lots of "me me ho ho ho more more more ho ho!!" I, being his mother who
hears this babbling incessantly, knew he was saying, "I want Santa to
bring me more presents." I told him sure, next year. He cried. Then he
told me again while ringing his bell. I said we had too many presents as
it was. He cried again with the bell. Then his Opa came, Jason's dad
Spasco, and then this happened:
Spasco took the bell and said
he'd fix this as he went to the garage. I knew Santa's costume was in
there and had anxiety about whether or not he was going to put the
costume on... Steve, Meghan, and the kids and I sat in the yard and
forgot about Opa. But then we heard that bell ringing. And someone
gruffly shouting "hoy! Hoy hoy hoy! " We looked to see what was going
on, the loud bell and HOYs were confusing. Steve shouted, "It's HO! Ho
ho ho!" A man appeared in the yard. He was bent over, wearing dark
sunglasses and a towel covering the top of his head and shoulders. As he
slouched and hobbled across the porch like the hunch back of Notre
Dame, we could see he had a grubby sack he drug along. We were
essentially looking at Opa's version of Santa, but our version of a bum,
perhaps the black sheep in Santa's family. The children were scared.
No, scratch that. Sunny was nonplussed. Lachlan was terrified and clung
to me. Santa Bum hobbled closer, this time yelling HO HO HO, and reached
into the sack. Now remember, Opa did this because Lachlan was upset
about no more Santa, no more presents. So he reached into the sack and
pulled out 2 coke bottles filled halfway with yellow liquid. Sunny
greedily takes the "juice" and drinks it.
This point, Meghan and
I are crying we're laughing so hard. We cant even speak. I think Steve
is shaking his head, mentions the coke bottles are filled with the bums
pee, and I can't even look at Opa I'm laughing so hard. Lachlan does not
want the drink.... The story fizzles there. We are just laughing, Opa
takes off his getup to show Lachlan it's just him. Sunny gives me the
bottle and says it's gross. I tell her we need to talk about taking
weird drinks from strangers...