Saturday, May 19, 2012

Equal Punishment slash Reward

If I could blog whilst running you'd commit me. I become emotional and philosophical. Sometimes I cry. I'm really into the endorphins and the music compounds that, especially a power ballad like The Killers--->"I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" and Fun.--->"What do I stand for?"... I'm still feeling the effects of my run, clearly.

After the juice-fast I've rekindled a love with my old flame.... Sigh. That sounds more frisky than the reality, that I love running once more. Not in the last 4 runs have I dreaded it. I'm standing at the door like a racehorse ready to bolt at the starting line. Even when its raining. Even when my iPod dies. Even when I just ate dinner. Yuck. I've never run after a meal or while raining. And now I dont even care. I've led myself down a free-for-all path for 4 years and I'm sick of it. So running in the rain with water dripping into my eyes and flicking off the toes of my shoes, pushing myself farther than I've run in a long time-- its all my punishment for not taking care of myself. I deserve it. But running is also rewarding. And I deserve that, too.

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